18 May 2017

Re-Wilding... me? - The Beginning Struggle

I didn't honestly expect my first "it's tough" post this soon, but here it is. I had an awful day today, but not in the way one expects. Work was okay, people were okay, etc. What was rough were the things I need to go well in order to feel confident in this journey:


  • My pain level was an 8 - I haven't really written this anywhere, and I only talk about it in detail every once in a while, but I am struggling with a genetic issue that causes intense pain and inability to do every day things. Normally I work around it at a pain level between 2-4, sometimes a 6. Today, however, my pain was an 8. Each step I took sent shooting pains through my foot. On days like this I trip over myself, causing further pain, walk slowly, and my foot swells. I think I handle pain fairly well (I once drove myself to the hospital after breaking my arm in three places since it would take an ambulance over half an hour to arrive and then sat through another week of pain until I could see a doctor). Today, however, was not my day. 
  • My state hates me - I never had allergies as a kid. Now, as an adult, I have allergies out the wazoo. I am allergic to just about every tree and weed in the state (which sucks as I love gardening) and I have chronic asthma. I take medicine for it and it does well many days, but today I got punched right in the eyes, throat, and lungs. In fact, as I write this, I am waiting for emergency antihistemines to kick in so I can get some sleep. 
  • The sugar withdrawal set in - I planned really well today and, while I didn't ruin everything, I certainly didn't follow my plan. The withdrawal hit me a little today and I may have been able to deal with it if not for the other things. 
Okay, now that I've written it, I feel stupid. I'm considering erasing it all, but I want to document this journey, even if I never share it. So, here it is: day 3. An awful day. But, as I say often: tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. 

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